Clouds

Today I am grateful for clouds.  Yesterday afternoon at rush hour, we had to drive home from Northeast Philly hauling a load of furniture that is now living back at our place after spending time in a son’s apartment.  It was a nightmare.

I’ve driven in New York City many times.  I drive in Philadelphia frequently.  I’ve driven through Chicago during rush hour.  I drove in Ireland.  I drive through Washington DC. I’ve driven across country several times, through many big cities.  I drove in Jakarta, Indonesia using a left handed stick on the “wrong” side of the road for Pete’s sake!  Driving in Northeast Philly is worse than all of them combined.  I hate driving in the Northeast.  Waddayatawkinabout!?  It’s just not civilized.

For those not familiar, there are six lanes, no maybe seven, about eight, I don’t know, I’m not at all sure how many, but it depends where you are because they seem to come and go out of nowhere, with no pattern whatsoever.  You can’t get on them or off of them without risking life and limb.  You can’t turn left.  Ever.  And you even though you think you’re on the right road, in the right lane, it either ends or divides with some odd six-inch bump of concrete that blocks you from another lane. Ridiculous!

If you so much as take a breath before moving after the light has changed, some rocket scientist on crack (literally), with a Barco Lounger as his driver’s seat, will blast his horn at you.  You cannot “salute” him because he will either pull out a gun and shoot you, or yank you from your car and steal your husband, selling him to the nearest geriatric center for parts, like a stripped Lexus.  All you can do is grit your teeth, keep your head down and pretend you are wearing blinders like a thoroughbred in the Derby. What happens behind you doesn’t matter.  Look forward.  Don’t flinch.  Don’t let ‘em see you’re terrified. Breathe.  And get outta Dodge as fast as possible.

Okay, it looks like I got off track because I am grateful for clouds, but then I rambled on about the traffic in the Northeast, right?  Hah!  Not so!  When we headed west, with the lowering sun pushing through them, the clouds were spectacular.  There wasn’t time to locate the humping rabbits one kid would always find on a road trip, or the dragon choking Dorothy, or the elephant with a proboscis problem.  But the clouds SAVED me in the traffic nightmare that bypassed purgatory and headed straight to hades.  They were a silver-lined, larger-than-life, fluffy distraction. Just like me!