Saturday, May 24, 2014
Today I am grateful for gadgets. It’s a very good thing we don’t have much disposable income because we’d dispose of it all on “As Seen On TV” jimcracky.
Sometimes if I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep I’ll flip on some obscure TV channel. Wow. There are people out there creating things I had no clue I needed so desperately.
Find out what's happening in Montgomeryville-Lansdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.
Remember when the best gadget you could have was a Swiss Army Knife? Hah! I scoff at your measly knife and raise you glasses with nail clippers, back up lights, directional signals and a smart phone all built in. You never know when you’re going to need to clip a nail while riding a bike.
Find out what's happening in Montgomeryville-Lansdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.
They almost had me with the $19.99 (shipping not included - $42), apple-peeler- egg-separator-shredder-dusting-bingo-dawber. I gotta get me one of these to go with my Ginsu knives. Hah-ya! Chop! Chop!
I almost bought the cat toy that has batteries and spins around under a cloth, guaranteed to drive any cat crazy. I don’t have a cat. It just looked like fun. I could see John and me on the floor batting away at the thing. Then I saw us trying to get up and got over it. They don’t make a home version of the jaws-of-life.
If I had the itty-bitty-book-lite I wouldn’t have to turn on the blasted TV in the middle of the night. Think of the money I’d save. Personally I’d like to have the miners light hat more, because then I could use my callous egg on my disgusting heels (not really, but saying so justifies the purchase) while sitting in the dark on the couch I re-built with cheap plastic boards that I paid twenty bucks a pop for and needed three sets. Yeah, me.
Maybe one day they’ll make the shoe with the CD player inside with enough amplification for me to get it close enough to my ear so I can hear without twisting myself into contortions like an uncooperative pretzel. I’m not holding my breath. There’s probably an app for that anyway if I had a phone that was smart, but mine is still stupid. . .well it’s a little smarter than me because I don’t know how to run everything on it. . .but that’s not saying much. I don’t want my gadgets smarter than me. Life is intimidating enough.
Maxwell Smart, as he clicks off his shoe phone and fires his bullet cufflinks, would be happy that I’m grateful for gadgets. Inspector Gadget would be euphoric. What will they think of next? I’ll let you know the next time I have insomnia.
