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Health & Fitness

Locker Room Etiquette

Today I am grateful for locker room etiquette.   If you go to some shee-shee gym where you not only get your own private locker, but also your own shower, dressing room and bench, then stop reading now because you will never be able to relate.  If, however, you go to a YMCA or other lower cost facility, like I do, that is shared by young and old alike, then this one’s for you.

 

Here are some rules I’d like to see followed by parents bringing children into the adult locker room.

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  1.  If at all possible use the “family” locker rooms.  You and your three kids are the reason they were created.  Lucky you.  Lucky the rest of us.

  2. Do not leave your 27 bags standing all over the benches while you are in the pool area or fitness class with your child.  The benches are needed and that’s what the lockers are for.

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  • If, for some reason, you must have your child shower in the women’s locker room, please have him/her use the common showers and not the private stalls when women are there.

  • If there is no one in the locker room and you decide to use the private showers, then please hustle your child along when you know people are waiting.  We don’t need to hear the entire soundtrack from “Frozen”, even though you think it’s cute.

  • If your child is given a treat, then be sure it is either eaten or thrown away.  Grown women don’t appreciate stepping on an orange lollipop stuck to a piece of paper towel.  Yuk!

     

  • Now for the grown-ups. . .

    1. If you are in a private shower/dressing room and you know people are waiting, please hurry a little.  No one expects you to leave with shampoo on your hair, but do you really need to clog up a shower to paint your toes or clip your finger nails?  C’mon!

    2. Unless you seriously need the bars to help you maneuver, please don’t get dressed in the handicapped bathroom stall. Actual handicapped people will need it and they won’t give a hoot about your modesty issues.

    3. If you can’t find a towel big enough to cover you, which is crazy, because I can, then don’t worry if you have to leave the shower area partially covered.  We all have marks, moles, scars and fat.  Some of us look like a bad students corrected math paper.  Some of us have “smiling” stomachs.  Some of us have enough moles to play connect the dot games.  Some of our boobs make water marks on the floor. If you think you have a fat back, I’ll see your fat back and raise you a couple of enormous thighs.  We don’t care.  Just move it along so someone else can use the private shower.

    4. If you dry your hair at the common counter, then please wipe it off when you are through.  Don’t you see how much hair you leave?  It looks like a dog grooming center by the time you’re done.  Paper towels are right there.  If you’re a shedding yak, then clean up after yourself!

  • The same goes for makeup.  The housekeeping staff is there to keep it maintained, not to be your maid.

  • This one just boggles my mind.  If you wash your hands, good for you.  If you take a paper towel and dry them, good for you.  If you leave the paper towel on the counter, or throw it near, next to, or on top of the trash, then shame on you.  Do you do this at home?  What do you think the trash can is for?  Close only counts in hand grenades!

  • A little lotion is okay, but if you want to take a bath in your “favorite” scent, just remember, it might not be anyone else’s.  People have allergies.  People have sensitivities.  Why do you need it anyway?  You just had a shower.  You don’t stink.  Leave the strong scents at home.

     

    I really am grateful for locker room etiquette. . .even though I seem to witness it less and less these days.

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