This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Popcorn

Today I am grateful for popcorn.  It’s my all-time favorite salty snack.  I’m a slut for popcorn, regular popcorn, not kettle corn.  I’m not even sure why I don’t like kettle corn, except it’s just wrong.  In Jakarta sometimes I’d have popcorn and a diet A&W root beer for dinner.  Okay, not just in Jakarta.  Sometimes in Pennsylvania I do, too.  It’s fiber.  It’s pure.  It’s its own basic food group.  That’s my story. Don’t tell my mom.

 

I like it plain, no butter. . .until I cheat and have  butter.  Then I fall in love all over again.  What self-respecting Wisconsin-raised girl wouldn’t kill for butter?  “Real” butter, not that yellow grease, called buttery topping, they try to pass off for butter.  What is that?  Bleached motor oil?  At the movies I discovered little shaker-jars of cheddar cheese, nacho cheese, butter, and ranch powdery toppings.  I never got past the cheddar cheese.  It’s just too good.  It’s the Wisconsin in me.  Okay, I lied.  Sometimes I get the bleached-motor-oil-buttery-topping because it helps hold on the fake powdered cheese stuff.  I don’t like parmesan or garlic or sugar or hot sauce or any of the million things other people do to ruin popcorn.  I don’t want to put too much junk on popcorn because it’s already 99% perfect as it is.  The only thing that could make it better is if it vacuumed and washed windows. 

Find out what's happening in Montgomeryville-Lansdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 

Sometimes I’ll say yes to a dumb movie, just for the popcorn.  I think Satan himself started the idea of listing the amount of calories in the washtub of popcorn I’m going to eat.  Come on!  It’s POPCORN!  Not chocolate.  Not ice cream.  Popcorn.  Popcorn is sacred.  It doesn’t need to be snitched on with calorie and fat counts.  Gimme a break!  Give us all a break!  Let us be aware at the grocery store.  Make us look at calorie and fat counts at a fast food joint.  Tell us that the Slurpy we just Big Gulped has 4 billion calories and will rot every teeth in our head.  Leave popcorn alone!

Find out what's happening in Montgomeryville-Lansdalewith free, real-time updates from Patch.

 

There is a Regal Theater near us that has the BEST popcorn.  I don’t want to know what they do to it to make it stand above others, but it sure does.  It’s on the way to one of my sons houses.  One time when we were taking the grandkids back home, we pulled into the movie parking lot.  They both started on about how they weren’t expecting to go to the movies and what was playing and didn’t they have to get right home because of the 5 million events they have scheduled?  Grandpa said, “We’re not going to the movies.  I’ll be right back.”  Out he came with a huge bucket of popcorn.  For the drive.  The kids thought it was great.  Yes, I shared.  It wasn’t easy. . .even with the grand’s.  We instantly became the “cool” grandparents. Hah! They thought it was the first time we had done that. . . naïve little souls.  It was an emergency, okay?  Don’t judge.  You have a weakness, too.  You must have.  I can’t be the only one! 

 

You be grateful for your wicked snack of choice.  As for me, I’m grateful for popcorn!

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?