Man Must Tell Sexual Harasser to Back Off

Dear Lizzie,

I work with a woman, and we have somewhat of a past. We hooked up a couple times outside of work, but we never got serious.

I thought we mutually ended the affair.

Recently, she has been sexually harassing me at work. It is often very subtle, and no other co-workers know about what happened.

Most of the time I am uncomfortable with it all. I have told her to knock it off, but she must think I’m not serious about it.

Even outside of work, she continues to do this stuff.

The last thing I want to do is file a sexual harassment case and make the whole thing public.

What should I do?

- Harassed, Reading

Dear Harassed,

First and foremost, you need to take matters into your own hands. This means speaking directly to this woman.

The biggest thing is you must tell her face-to-face that she will be fired if she continues to do what she is doing to you.

Let her know that because you are not hooking up with her anymore, it doesn’t mean she has to harass you in your workplace.

She has to let you move on. She has to realize she would potentially be fired because of her immaturity.

If you tell her that what she is doing is sexual harassment, and that you don’t like the way she is speaking to you, then you have to take the bigger step and go to human resources, which will counsel you on the procedure to file for sexual harassment.

Another option is going to your boss and asking to be moved away from her location in your workplace. Hopefully, your boss will consider doing that, no questions asked.

No company wants a sexual harassment lawsuit, but you also don’t want your rights in the workplace violated.

It’s never a good idea to hook up with somebody you work with, but it can be hard not to in some situations.

 Write to "Dear Lizzie" at dearlizziepatch@gmail.com.